Home » The Deepest Pains and Hurts of a Parent.

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Yes, the deepest pains and hurts of a parent can never be expressed adequately in words. Yet, this has nothing to do with gender. Either sex can be as warm and caring and hopefully both and the same holds true that they can be cold as ice. Many a child is born into this world of either or and it impacts and shapes they being for their entire life. It is the world of hugs, kisses, expressions of love that send a loud and clear signal, I LOVE YOU, in thought, word and deed. It is the recognition that although separate and unique beings we are as one. How many do not know nor understand what I am speaking to? The fact is and the shame of it is, many.

 

So, how does one who loves their child, regardless if born from their flesh, adopted, or in their care, express that pain and hurt as they actually feel it within their soul and being? Can anyone really express that type of pain and hurt? Well those who have felt and know that deep, intense, overwhelming and hurting pain that drives you to the brink of tears and mental anguish and yes hopelessness can express it? Yes, even in the darkness and silence of your private place, or alone in a crowd of thousands, can anyone sense that hurt as it really is but you who experience it?

So when they say, I feel your pain, do they? In what way exactly do they feel your pain? Have they experienced it first hand? Can anyone comfort you? In reality no words can. In fact if death is involved only your faith can get you through that deep intense hurt and pain and sometimes even that isn't enough. When they contribute to that pain ddirect;y or indirectly by thought, word or deed can "I'm sorry" really take it away?

While these are what many would consier the everyday hurts and pain, does one feel the pain when their small child comes to them after falling, hurt and bleeding seeking your comfort for their wound, their wound which strikes at your very core so deep that you actually feel their pain? Can one express how you feel when they are in a fever, sick and helpless? Is there anyone who can express the pain when you receive a knock on your door telling you your child is no longer and they have been killed in some far off shore? What about seeing your child laying dead in the street a victim of religious hatred, ideology, greed or whatever else that is the root cause behind that death?

Yes, can anyone express the sleepless nights, the worry over where your children are when they are not at home? Who are they with, are they ok, all right? Can you express your concern over their other half; a boyfriend, a friend, someone they are hanging with, their spouse and how you feel when you know they hurt and you cant do much if anything to change that? You know when you see the pain in their face, the tear in their eye and you hear the threats and innuendo that cut to the bone. Then again how do you feel when they are in prison, alone on the battlefield surrounded by unknown enemies, or far away in strange and foreign places?

Can anyone express the rejection and pain and suffering of that rejection your child feels? Can one express how you feel at their disappointment or failures? Yes what of having no job, being fired, having nothing to support your family with, no hope, a dead end job and no help from anywhere while others get help readily, no questions asked? What of the abuse at the hands of bill collectors and others who have no natural affection, compassion or mercy but whos only goal is their commission? What of those in power who could care less when they lay off, dispose of, get rid of for the good of the company and impact their lives and that of their families and yours and all for the bottom line and increased profits yet like to prject themselves as caring and kind? Yet, we must not forget there are some who do truly care and suffer.

Yes, who can define how you feel when your children and grandchildren, child or spouse are sick or dying and with no help, no insurance, no aide and one caring, as if they didnt exist or those who are giving help can go no further because their hands are tied by bureaucracy or government policy, rules and regulations. . Yes, when you look at your child nestled in your arms, snug and safe for the moment and in fear can anyone express just what you are feeling?

Yes, the pains of a parent can overwhelm, strike deep, hurt and destroy them. They can anger and motivate hatreds and all sorts of other negatives. Yet, they also hit the most sensitive, caring and deepest part of someone who truly loves. That feeling is what qualifies them as good, decent, loving and all that is right in this world. It is the bedrock that our children need, long for, search for, strive and wish they had. It is the foundation of all families and serves to provide the strength to weather the storm. Yet, many will never know that type of love and pain and hurt. They never had it, never knew it and never received it nor sensed it. It has no race, no boundaries, no religion, and no politics but is wrapped totally in love.

Yes, it is that which is missing in much of this world today but yet it can be found in the breast of every loving parent, guardian or someone caring for another. So when we talk to the deepest pains and hurts of a parent we talk to that which is the very best. Too bad it is not in all? Yet, if you understand what I am saying, if you sense, feel, know by your pain, tears, suffering and hurt just what it is I am trying to express then you know in your heart of hearts you are truly a sensitive, caring, and loving soul.

In this world of darkness we need more of you. No not the pain because there is much more then we all ever need, want or care to see, no but that caring heart which makes this world a better place.

So do we see this in everyone? We all know what I am speaking to, that cold, callus, non sentimental, unmoving projection that people put forth to set themselves apart from everyone else. No, it is not what they profess, talk about, or say. No it is not about their smile, good looks, how they dress or the positions of power they hold or held. No it is all about love and the purest form of it. Yes, and they do feel it on occasion but quickly suppress it for it is not right to project what they might percieve as weakness. After all someone has to make the hard decisions and their heart is as hard as it needs to be to do that.

As for the rest of us that this applies to, I probably could have listed many more times when we hurt and pain. But realize this when it happens. Know that when you are hurting and in pain you are walking very close to God Himself because He hurts with you. He feels your pain, He knows your hurt and He understands what a parent feels. Understand you are the healing soul that gives your child the strength to continue and in effect others who see your sentiments and acts of love. Yes, although many may not believe it with Him you walk by your childs side. And when you pass He is there to continue that caring until you are together again.

God bless you, who feel, who hurt who pain who care and pray for all others who do not know what you do for they are to be pitied and given mercy.

Robert T. Melaccio Sr. Copyright 2007 Robert T Melaccio Sr.