A Family Lost, a Family Found.
Posted: Saturday, July 07, 2007
by straight talk
I suppose many of us might have undergone this same situation in life. A separation of family for a long time that left them and you without the people they love. Unfortunately, in many cases it is the children and young who are hurt the most. They don’t understand why they can't see thier loved one, a dad, a mon ,etc. and they usually only only get fractional pieces of the reason here and there as to why it happened. Many times there is no rhyme of reason because those with the original conflict are either long gone or have forgotten just what the details were that started the entire mess to begin with. Usually it is he said or she said and a number of third parties contributing to the mess. Sometimes it is a tragedy of some sort and sometimes a combination of it all plus money or material things. You know, they got this, and I should have gotten that, and I want this type of thing, etc.
Yes, young innocents growing up without a relative. Perhaps one parent, perhaps none and no relatives to share anything with, nothing that tells them they belong. To deny them someone who could have been there for them, like the simple things in life. To watch them graduate, to share a birthday, their wedding, a birth of their child, to give a hug or share a holiday with, to wipe a tear or just listen to them is a sin of major proportions. Like I stated before in most instances it is over bruised feelings or material goods, vanity and self interests for the parties involved. You see it takes more then one to have the conflict but one humble person to resolve it.
Yes, why are we so called adults so inclined to hate because we didn’t get what we wanted, or felt abused by some deed and all the while we can go to church say we are something we don’t practice and sit in a pew praising God? Why are we so inclined to hurt those we profess to love through some type of vengeance on others by not allowing them to see and love the very ones we say we love ? Just who are we hurting the other or our very loved ones and why are they the pawn in the game? Resolve your conflicts between yourselves and don’t drag others into it. Do not deprive them of another regardless of the reasons and do not destroy the other simply for your own desires and hurt.
Yes, children, grandchildren, cousins, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, you name it and they all get lumped in to the mess. They all lose out. Yet, many years later if you are fortunate to get together you find multiple versions, missing pieces and the ones who were involved and started the separation dead or so old they don’t remember and yet for years everyone suffered. The innocent and those involved.
Why one might ask? Well one simple answer, the parties involved lacked humility. They lacked what they professed to be, and they lacked forgiveness and mercy.
So think deep about things when you say you hate. Think long and hard because if you don’t forgive, guess what, that God you profess to love just may not forgive you. You see “unless you give mercy you shall not receive mercy". So don’t wait for someone to call you, reach out, and try to establish a connection. Ask for forgiveness even if you feel it was not your fault. Being right is not important demonstrating love, compassion and mercy is. It may not work but then again it just may be the biggest blessing you got in a long time. There is always time to start fresh, forget the past bad things and build on the future.
Now true you may be rejected, it may take years or it may never happen. But and that is a big but, unless you try you never know just what you have and are missing. You tried and you did not succeed but then again somewhere up the road it just might work?
Now I can tell you first hand that this is fact and truth. It starts with the little things and grows. Be persistent be kind, be forgiving and above all be humble. Learn to love those you had lost and now you found and enjoy every moment because life is fleeting and time goes quickly and who are we to hurt those we love?
Once you have them it is a new day and a new joy. You have brought a smile, a tear, and a laugh and you have fulfilled what you said you are and what you believe that you always loved them even though they were not near they were with you.
So my friends if this article applies to you, take that step, give it a try and be humble. If you are rejected you can still find peace knowing hat you made the effort and it is their choice.
So go in peace and love and hopefully you will find those you do not have now but will hopefully in the future because we all need family.
Robert T. Melaccio Sr. 2007 Copyright ©2007 Robert Melaccio
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Wow, Robert, your article surely hit home. While my mom was alive, her family had been divided by an older trouble making aunt lasting over 50 years. When my mom passed away, I received a beautiful Mass Card 'from one of those relatives' and decided to respond and called her. From that day on, my life has been filled with many loving family members who my mother sadly never knew because my grandmother had sided with the trouble-making aunt. Of course, no one remembered why the family was divided and cousins missed out with many of them already diseased. From that experience I have vowed to mend any fences that needed mending right away and not repeat history. Good article, thank you! I hope your article brings healing to some where it is needed.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks Judi, I was one that had that experience as well.Please log in to respond to this comment.
This is a beautiful article, Mr. Melaccio. Thank you.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thank you for your most kind thought and expression. I for one have found they that we had not had and that joy cannot be described in words. I do hope it reaches others so they too can benefit from tghose they ahve been separated from. Best wishes.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Your words of wisdom will hit home for most people. I guess it takes a tragedy for some people to realize that we only have one life and that it is up to us to make the most of it. Hate is a wasted emotion and I try my best to avoid it. If someone annoys me, and I can't express my feelings to that particular person I don't get even, I walk away and say to myself, you can't get along with everyone but I will not dwell on that situation that annoyed me and move on. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt that maybe the person who offended me was having a bad day so....instead of making it a huge thing, I let it slide. It is different if that person is emotionally or physically abusive but people say and do stupid things all the time and most of the time, it can be overlooked. Embrace your family and friends and build wonderful memories to last a lifetime! Iris S. TaubPlease log in to respond to this comment.An excellent way of life we all need to consider. Sometimes we find out it is not the right time and we are better off not pushing it. yet, if we have "FAITH" it will come to pass if it is to be. We all need each other and no one should ever be alone. I too may be upset with the moment but I move along and try to wear the others shoes. Forgiveness is the key. All the very best, thank you.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Sir Robert, I agree with each of the other commentators. You shared a very important lesson that can restore peace of mind. Thank you! I pray you and your family are well. You've been in my prayers. Blessings always. *warm smile* —AvisPlease log in to respond to this comment.Avis you have become a bright spot in my life. I always enjoy your comments and thoughtfulness. YOu Evidently have been gifted by God with discernment because I have been on a bumpy road and I sincerely appreciate your prayers. You certainly understand that when we love we know just what that means. We hurt for those we care about and we even hurt for those we don't know but who are exploited and abused and hurting. Yet, in retrospect, what good is shock aborbers if the road is smooth. God is my shock absorber and he sends me people like you to make sure they are in top working shape. Once again, thanks for your kindness! PS: have you heard about the new Tony Dungy book? I read excerpts this AM in the papers and I started a new article on him. The man really needs to be in office but then again I guess integrity, faith and honor are not attributes considered important in political leaders? Now wouldn't that be a strange, someone we could actually trust? God bless and be safe.Please log in to respond to this comment.
You made me smile and brightened my day with your lovely comments. Thank you. I especially like the shock absorber analogy. He's mine, too and yes, He does send others to minister to us and offer encouragement. I'm happy to a bright spot and not a sore spot! *laughing softly* We could never "go it alone" and enjoy real happiness. We need each other. About Tony Dungy's book, no, I had not heard about it until you brought it to my attention. I can become so isolated at times when only the Lord and work (from home) occupy my days and nights. The last two weeks have been that way. I'll look for it and make sure to buy it with your recommendation. Be strong and hold on. Tough times don't last but tough people do. We're tough in His might! You pray for me as I pray for you. We're apart of God's family. Take good care, Sir Robert. :)Please log in to respond to this comment.
A very powerful message here for sure, Mr. Melaccio. Thank you for sharing it and thank you for giving us a reminder of what is important in life.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thank you for your kind words.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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