straight talk

The Education of Life Continues.



Posted: Tuesday, October 10, 2006

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This article represents my trip through this Valley of Tears, as the Blessed Mother Calls it. Now a good friend of ours who lost a loved one just last week asked if this could be Purgatory? Perhaps this is the precursor because if people can suffer so much pain physically, emotionally and in other ways while here on earth, I do not think we will get off the hook any easier when we pass on? I think Purgatory and Hell are too dreadful places to wind up.

Now of course religious will tell you all about the love side of God and not the wrath. But to those who live in pain and suffering each day, day in and day out, we think in strictly human terms and do not equate the definition of love to what we undergo and in Gods terms. Therefore man has no answer only God. The problem is that we do not believe, it just says we do not understand. If God can punish until the 7 th generation because of something our forefathers did, then where can there be hope if we are part of those generations? I do think faith is the answer that God has a reason. Like the Word says, the crucible of fire that burns away the bad and forges the good. When you look at these people you see only the good and feel for their pain. Yet how many are there in this world or I should say Valley of Tears? In my opinion there certainly is not many. They majority sadly are fixed on what this world has to offer.

So sitting here alone and my situation I started to think about writing on these topics. Of faith, government, the world in general and it really started to sink home as to the condition the world is in. Now I was in my earlier years caught up in surviving and the business world. Of course there were problems but I always had enough money and ability to overcome them. Certainly work was the motivator that I needed to have to do just that.

So when I got “terminated" and I don’t mean any of those other lies they tell people about losing your job, it strikes home that your ability to overcome hardship isn’t what it used to be. So in my conversations with friends many encouraged me to write. Those good people I spoke about out in the introduction. They even encouraged me to run for public office under the presumption I could effect change. I perceived that my writing might be first an outlet and second bring some real life emotional and truthful events into people’s lives for consideration and food for thought. Perhaps it might even prompt a leader to take action?

So as I became a shut in due to a personal situation that impacts many, I started to write for the sake of sanity and as a personal objective to demonstrate I still could think. Yes, it was also pride and ego, one of the two most negative aspects one must identify and concur and yes it was also a desire to be recognized and accepted once again. The two key aspects we all search for and need. You know “the no man is an island" is exactly correct even though many say they need no one. They fool themselves because a heart check will prove them wrong.

However, here is where the education aspect and what this article is all about come in. I see decent people suffering all around me. These are the people that are there when you need them. They offer themselves to help and assist in whatever way they can ease your situation. These people do not ask anything for their efforts nor seek reward. They just do it because they are decent people. I truly believe many people are decent people; although I am not naive enough to know that the multitude and I do mean multitude don‘t give a damn about anyone or anything but themselves. You may call that judgmental but I call that perception through experience. These are also the people you can count on to rise above the situation and do what needs to be accomplished. They lead men into battle, they are there when horror is all around and they make a path for all to safety and hope. Yes, it can even be in business when we are floundering and all seems not going well. Yes, there are the types out there that deliver the goods and thank God for them.

I started to write about the things that impacted me because I felt my situation, for the sake mental health and also to enlighten others who may be undergoing or going through similar situations. It was also out of anger because of the hypocrisy and injustice I perceived in many people and agencies who continue to express and profess one thing but do what “works for them and them only". Quite frankly and unfortunately, the word of this century, many of our politicians, business and even church leaders in my opinion fit this model. Of course certainly not all but sadly many of them demonstrate this every day.

Now many of these articles that people have read I have gotten a majority of favorable replies to and yes some not so favorable but thankfully just a few negatives and they weren‘t that bad. However, the fact is someone read it and thought about it and that is all anyone who writes can ask. I did not expect or demand they agree. Now, I have also come to the conclusion that most people go through life day in and day out wanting the same good things but unable to move forward on their own. They seek approval from others. In reality while we don’t recognize it we are being lead like sheep. They follow the masses and have the same routine, goals, ideology and objectives they receive from the society they live in and what society perceives is correct. Of course that perspective changes with each society and therein lies the quandary. What is good for you is not necessarily good for me.

You see I was always a leader type. The guy people went to when there was a problem and they needed to get things done. The sad part is that they liked that I got the job done but I was never politically correct to the big shots. These were and still are those types in every organization who do nothing and really know little about what is needed or going on because they were totally removed from the day to day activity. To say I was demanding would be accurate but certainly I would dispute anyone who said I was not fair. To say that once the project was complete the big shots did not want me around was probably also correct. In reality I came to understand the very fact they could see me and know I was successful and they had to go to me for help somehow made them feel less capable. So “out of sight out of mind" helped them get over their weakness and insecurity.

My successes were in faith in God and people. You see I always believed that if you pushed good people they would rise to the occasion. I did not believe people could fail if they wanted to succeed and you helped them recognize their potential. I just gave them the direction and tools and listened very carefully to their needs and frustrations. That is all any leader can do. Hear and then provide.

As for me my views have not changed even today. I read the want adds everyday and notice companies needing leaders. However, it is the same companies over and over and not because of growth. They always seem to have enough money and time to do it over or turn out a sub par product. In fact I was just told “there is not much they can do to resolve the problem, I will just have to live with it since it is most likely the same all over". You know that speaks volumes to exactly what the problem is today.

In my opinion it speaks to their style of leadership or lack thereof and that of many in “lead“ positions. As for myself, as mentioned, I always believed in people, fairness and truth coupled with compassion and empathy and always, thank God, we got the job done. I know it worked well because we did the impossible at times. Of course it was never totally us but God who always ran the show and deliverer the product. I guess people resented when they asked me how I did it and I would say it wasn’t I but “they" and then proceeded to inform them who they were.

So what is the object of this? I am saying that people need leadership. However, that leadership must be honest, fair, understanding, compassionate, merciful and moral. We all need to have desire to do a good job and excel at what we are asked to do. Leaders must be open to change and especially to listen. They must be organized, decisive and really lead because people need to be lead! That is why one person can inspire and lead an entire nation. They take charge, empower people to do and expect results. They provide the tools for success and they never start what can’t be finished.

So where is my frustration going? Where do we see that today in this world? We do see it with the despots who can lead millions to kill in the name of God, but do we see it here at home or in any other nation outside of these few who can keep millions in slavery? The answer is no and in my opinion the answer is simple and these despots know it. Weakness is the one word that rises time after time. It seems we run into problem after problem and I perceive the cause in my opinion is due to being weak in faith and conviction.

Oh you say our leaders are strong on Iraq. Well that maybe true but to what degree? They seem lost, confused, have no plan or direction. Our troops are shackled and we run hither and dither for lack of the tools and resources to do the job right. We do not even have the resolve to accept that we will fail sometimes but we can win if we do not shackle people, provide leadership, fix responsibility and allow people to take action, weigh outcomes and make decisions. Certainly when we look at the Republican or Democrat party we do not see leaders. In my opinion when we really look at our supposed leaders we see disunity, morality in question, a lack of direction or purpose, confusion, a lack or organization or accountability we see all the signs of a failed project symbols and self interests placed first.

Well hopefully you will notice the word “seem". Rhetorically one might think that perhaps they know exactly what they are doing? Rhetorically one might think perhaps this is part of a bigger plan? I hope not because that brings us right back to that pain thing again.

So when you look all around at the world and what is going on outside of your home and added to those situations that only you have to contend and deal with it would be a heck of a lot easier if we had dynamic leadership. It would be a heck of a lot easier if we could place our faith in people to be there when we need them with social, medical, economic and mental help. It would be a better place if God didn’t have to test us every day or forge us in fire but we forged ourselves into what He wants us to be. If we could take that step toward what we profess we are and actually implement it.

So in summing up the situation I leave you with we are all who believe undergoing the trial and are walking in This Valley of Tears. That valley is full of highs and lows and has enough for us to deal with. Therefore we turn to our leaders to lead us through, to use a cliché “ To the promised land of milk and honey“.

Regretfully, the other word of the century, in my opinion this will not ever be. Few to none will ever read this article because it will sit on the back pages. Few to none are interested in change and few are leaders. Leaders come onto the scene and make an impact and change. But it is not the leader themselves but the people they lead effectively!

God Bless.

Robert T. Melaccio Sr. Copyright ©2006 Robert Melaccio



Robert Melaccio Sr. has worked in the computer industry for 40 plus years in a diversified business and managerial environments. He enjoys freelance writing, giving seminars for young adults and teen groups as well as being an accomplished award winning poet of published poetry. He has worked teaching and as a youth minister. He is married and has three children and three grandchildren.

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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)
» left by Cyrus
from MS 5 years 98 days ago.
I agree mostly. . . again. The Word you speak of, is it Catholic? Because you also mention Purgatory.
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» left by 5 years 97 days ago.
I sincerely appreciate your response and to answer your inquiry- yes. However, since God is the "Word" I feel it matters not what you call yourself other then Christian. Catholics call the passing through the flames as Purgatory, or cleansing, others see it happening at the Judgement of Christ. My point- regarless of denomination our sins, while forgiven, have a penance to do. God Bless.
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» left by David Tanguay
from Jennings, Fl. 4 years 359 days ago.
Mr. Melaccio, I really enjoyed this article. When I got of of the service in 1969 and went to work i became a foreman. I use to tell my boss either when we made a mistake or we done good on the job"My statement to the boss was "We" not I, or he, but "WE" as a team.
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» left by 4 years 356 days ago.
David, thanks for your reply. I always enjoy hearing from you and getting your feedback. It seems we have similar convictions? I find that in my multiple capacities as a mentor, manager, teacher or just plain parent, character, teamwork, morals and truth were just a few of the necessary aspects one needs for success. I look to Tony Dungy as an outstanding example of a coach, mentor, man and what he has produced in people. When we ignore truth, mercy, compassion and love we are doomed.
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